Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Therapy? Isnt that for the weak?

Before we get to the real stuff....  This blog has been viewed exactly 200 times.  That is crazy to me.  Thanks for reading and thanks for any feedback you have provided.

So I began therapy in 2001, shortly after my dad died.  I did so because I was so mad at the world that I told a Master Chief to mind his business and not concern his self with me or my problems.  So yeah I got written up for that and I really didnt care.  So after a bit of a tongue lashing by my Chief I knew that I had to find some help to deal with what I was going through.  I dont remember how I got counseling but it was through the Navy.  So it wasnt an actual Psycho Therapist, more like a counselor.  She was very nice, gave me a book to read, told me that what I was going through was normal.  She made me see that there were people that could help me with my issues.  Because they went beyond my father's death.  I only went to a few sessions but it made me realize that it could be helpful.

The next time that I went was in 2002 after I got out of the Navy and moved to Towson.  My ex did not come with me, my choice, but then got pregnant a few months later.  Obviously it wasnt mine.  So while I didnt want a future with her, it still hurt.   I went to a female therapist again and to be honest she was not very good.  For some reason she thought she needed to toughen me up.  I went to her for about 2 years on and off until I moved into my current house.  In 2005 I found my current therapist and have seen him ever since.

There are some really important things that he has taught me over the years.  What you feel, you can heal...is probably the most important lesson that he taught me.  Basically I had to face my past hurts in order to move on from them, in order to release the negativity that was inside.  

Another is that anger is not a real emotion, it is a masking emotion.  Usually masking a person's hurt.  Next time you are angry ask yourself why.  Because your wife made a comment that made you feel dumb or lazy or whatever.  You dont tell her, hey that hurt, instead you get pissed off.  I try very very hard to always tell her when she upsets or hurts me.  It is way better then getting angry.

The next thing is that I am able to respond to any situation in any way that I want.  I have the responsibility for my thoughts, actions, and feelings.  I control them, they do not control me.  Now with all that said...I am not perfect, I do get angry on occasion, but I do not yell, scream, or throw things anymore.  That part of me is dead and gone.   But I am not perfect, Im just much better then I was.

So if you are out there and you some issues that continue to bother you, go get help.  But dont just settle with the first therapist that you come across.  Take your time and find the right one.  If you are in the York area I would be more then happy to give you my therapists info.    With that said if any of you ever need anyone to talk to... feel free to contact me.

Take care.

MR

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