Sunday, August 24, 2014

Where Do I Go From Here?

Having things to say is typically not a problem that I am faced with.  As most of you know I am a tad opinionated and seldom hold back from expressing myself.  However now that I have started this I am finding it difficult to figure out what to say next.  Its not that I dont have things to say, I do, Im just not sure what to say next, what to focus on.  I think I am worried about it being entertaining, perhaps thats not the right word, but I want to ensure that it captures your attention and keeps it.  Not for my ego, although to be honest that is a part of it, but to make sure that you take in the whole story and not just pieces, or a piece.

So with that all said I think I am going to try just writing whatever comes into my head.  Right now that means that I want to explain a bit more about BPD,  or more precisely how you get it.  But rather then me giving a Rhodes interpreted version, lets look at what the mayo clinic says about it;

As with other mental disorders, the causes of borderline personality disorder aren't fully understood. Experts agree, though, that the disorder results from a combination of factors. Factors that seem likely to play a role include:

  • Genetics. Some studies of twins and families suggest that personality disorders may be inherited or strongly associated with other mental disorders among family members.
  • Environmental factors. Many people with borderline personality disorder have a history of childhood abuse, neglect and separation from caregivers or loved ones.
  • Brain abnormalities. Some research has shown changes in certain areas of the brain involved in emotion regulation, impulsivity and aggression. In addition, certain brain chemicals that help regulate mood, such as serotonin, may not function properly.
So like most things in life it is complicated and hard to point at one exact cause.  Which may explain why my Aunts and Uncles do not, to my knowledge, have BPD.  So while there probably were some environmental factors, my mothers siblings did not wind up like her.  My guess is that there were things that occurred during her childhood that she could not handle but my Aunts and Uncles could.  Its a pretty foggy thing for me to look at because I was not there and accurate childhood accounts are tough to come by.  This is for a few reasons, perhaps the trauma was blocked out, and perhaps they just cant remember that far back.  Either way I believe that events in her childhood had to be at least partly responsible for her condition.  I have been told stories about my mom literally running down the street after my grandmother's car if she left without her.  This is not normal and suggests a sever fear of abandonment.  A trait she still posses to this day.    

Well that's enough for this one.  It was longer that I planned and I apologize.  I hope I did not lose you anywhere a long the way.  If you are still reading I thank you.   Next time I think I will focus more on some of the things I was put through, what I encountered while being raised with a mother who has BPD.  Again, thank you for reading.


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